Pursuit of Happiness

If you are feeling a tad out of sorts because life has just taken a turn for the worse, perhaps you’re feeling a bit sad --- or maybe a lot.

No worries. The Band of Happiness will come and play for you and shake you out of your doldrums whether you want to or not.

There is an easy solution for everything. It seems that we somehow have evolved into a society that is all too eager to reach for the magic potion that lulls us into a state of wellbeing while numbing, or would that be dumbing down our natural instincts and feelings so that we can be citizens in good standing in the land of perpetual happiness. It is not for nothing that we have been dubbed the Prozac Nation.

I was knoodling on this thought recently. Whether it has been socially engineered by psychiatrists (doubtful) or the growing gaggle of lifestyle coaches, there is definitely a movement afoot that if not happy, we should take corrective measures and embark on the pursuit of happiness.

Noble though the thought may be it is such a bunch of hooey. I am not talking about people who have serious mental illnesses – although I sometimes question as to just how many are truly ill, but that is altogether a different matter. What I think is a bunch of hooey is the readiness of kith and kin – add well meaning friends and armchair professionals to that list - who, having genuflected at the alter of Oprah, Dr. Phil, and the latest life guru once too often, are now willing and able to dispense advice on how to be happy. They are like serial some things … what? Serial happiers? I know, no such word. Maybe I can coin it. Or maybe it should be serial happymakers. And if the advice does not work, well a little bit of Valerian or St. John’s Wort might do the trick. Still no joy? Get your doctor to prescribe a little something for you.

With all this stuff flying around about being happy I don’t think people know exactly what it is. Somehow we have been conditioned to think that we should be in some state of constant euphoria or enlightenment, bereft of all that is negative (because negativity makes us unhappy), and tripping the light fantastic with ripples of happy laughter lightly tripping off of our happy lips.

Resist the temptation to examine your life with microscopic detail. Am I happy? Trust me, if you have to ask yourself that question rest assured that you are not unhappy.

Enough already.

This is life. Get used to it. There is life and death, good health and bad, success and failure and all of us are faced with one of these situations, not once, not twice, but many. Friends betray us, lovers leave, partners cheat. Get over it. There is much that is good, dwell on that.

The tough parts of life build strong emotional muscles and help us deal with those times when things truly turn difficult. To unnaturally shield, protect and to avoid, breeds soft tissue of the stuff of life and develops namby pambies who cannot stand up for themselves when the situation calls for them to do so.

I think happiness is a general feeling of wellbeing. Anxiety, worry, sadness. Unless chronic and descriptive of who you are, do not make for an unhappy life. Yes, there are times when our happiness is heightened: winning, achieving, falling in love and myriad more. I think the depth of such moments is made the more precious still for having had endured at least some moments of unhappiness in our life.

Don't become a victim of the happiness gang. Live life fully. Enjoy the good, suffer the bad. On balance, you should be naturally happy.

Cheers!